Episode 1: Hot Day
It was a very, very hot day. But I’m getting ahead of myself. We first ought to establish the setting.
This story takes place in a universe almost identical to ours; it may even be ours but for a ripple in time, a lack of occurrences of events.
The galaxy is known to its inhabitants by many names, including, as translated into common English, The Long Cloud, The Shredded Tissue, The Bureaucratic Solution, The Female Bovine Excretion, and, to the major societies outside of it, by an astoundingly usual coincidence of language, Canada L33T. But, to the beings we’re concerned with, it is The Milky Way.
The particular Solar System we’re concerned with is not important, and thus unnamed, to any extra-galactic civilizations, and ignored even by most civilizations within Galaxy Canada L33T. Its inhabitants don’t really have a name for it beyond "Our Solar System", but it is worth noting that the term "Solar System" comes from what they have named their sun-Sol. So, it could be said that they consider their Solar System the Sol System. Despite recent evidence that they have that it is not the Sole System.
But, as has been noticed by a good number of the inhabitants, they live on the third lump of rock out from their sun Sol. They call their lump of rock, or, planet, Earth.
The inhabitants of Earth, the Humans, have divided their Planet into seven continents. Two of these have an arbitrary line between them, one is an island, another two have very similar names and are connected by a relatively thin strip of land, another is uninhabited except by Penguins, Scientists, and The Cold Ones, and the last is ravaged by war, famine and disease and is called, in an obscene, cosmic, and unintentional joke, Africa. We, however, are concerned with one of the two connected by the thin strip of land, the northern one, called North America.
Each of those continents-except for the island one-is divided into further arbitrary sections known as Countries or Nations. There are three major Countries in North America, plus a plethora of ones further south that many mistake for a part of South America, just because they lie on the thin strip of land that connects the two. The country that we’re concerned with is the middle one of the three major ones, causing the appearance on many maps of the world that North America is a very fat Lettuce Sandwich with Pink Bread. It is called The United States.
This Nation of The United States is divided further into fifty States, which are united together, hence the name. Two of those States are far distant from the mainland of the nation, one of which is very large and causes the appearance on those same maps that someone attempted to put Guacamole on top of the Lettuce Sandwich, but missed. One of these States, a bit west of the center of the nation, is called Colorado, and is where our story begins.
Each state is divided into Counties, but those get very confusing and are completely unrelated to the alternate divisions of States, cities. Most other countries are divided merely into cities, though many of them are divided into such things as Provinces, which are similar to states but more like very large Counties. The beings of this planet, the Humans, are very, very odd people. Besides these divisions, most of the time, they bury their dead, rather than disposing of them wisely. But, the city where this story begins is Denver. Or, rather, it begins in the Denver-Metro Area.
Where it was a very, very hot day.
Three lads of sixteen or seventeen, none of them particularly strapping but none of them particularly unattractive either, were in a car, driving down a highway. They were very cold, unlike their surroundings, because the driver blasted the Air Conditioning, even in dead winter. This time, however, it was a very, very good thing that he was.
The one in the back seat of the car knew exactly how to get to their destination, but the driver insisted on using a map that took them in entirely the wrong direction. The fellow in the passenger seat didn’t have much to say on the matter, as he was trying to figure out where I-25 was.
"Look, I’m telling you, Coors Field is North-West of us, not South-East!" The boy in the back seat, who was known to his people as Todd, cried out for the dozenth time.
"I know that!" The driver, Waldo, replied over his shoulder and the din of modern lesser rock, by people with names like Tob Rhomas and Miss Crartin.
"We’re going South-East!"
"Hey, I know that!"
"Then why are we still going South-East?"
"Because this is the way to Coors Field!"
"Look, I’m telling you, Coors Field is North-West…" The conversation looped back to its beginning again.
Elli, who was the lad in the passenger’s side seat, was busy contemplating the dashboard off to his left and in front of him, in particular the gauge that had a little needle hovering in a red area, pointing very nearly at a very obvious E.
"… the way to Coors Field!" The loop completed itself.
"Look, I’m…"
"Hey, I think we need gas," Elli said, shattering the loop.
"What? Oh, yeah. My mom gave me twenty dollars this morning for gas."
"Well, then, let’s figure it out at the station." Todd suggested.
The driver maneuvered the car off of the highway and, after taking a lap around the pumps for some indiscernible reason, stopped in front of one of them.
The three of them piled out of the car and into the convenience store and advanced directly to the drinks fridges. Todd grabbed a semi-healthy drink emblazoned with a lizard logo, Waldo chose a soda that was neither health giving or containing pepper, and Elli decided upon some sort of tea drink, named after a state just South-West of them. They went to the counter.
"Just these?" The half-surly cashier, whose name tag read Sunny, indicated the drinks.
"And Ten Dollars of gas on pump 3, too," Waldo said. Sunny rang up the three drinks and added a ten dollar charge. Waldo handed him a twenty and got 4.50 back. They took their drinks and returned to their means of conveyance. Elli and Todd returned to their seats, while Waldo pumped gas into the car.
"So how’s your summer been?" was the topic of the inane conversation Elli and Todd shared while they waited. As it turned out, Elli had done very little that summer so far; He had seen their mutual friend Gan several times, but that wasn’t unusual because they lived quite near each other. Todd had done much, but none of it was interesting or worth recounting. Most of it was playing video games with Dawn and Zach, or making failed plans with Sylvie. But he only mentioned the video games; making plans with Sylvie tended to rile up jealousy in Waldo and a number of other male-types, so it was safest to avoid the subject in the vicinity of any of them. Todd insisted to himself that it was safe to bring her up when he was around, but really, it wasn't.
Waldo returned to the drivers seat, having pumped ten dollars worth of gas into the car. They drove off on the highway going North-West. Todd ignored this and let the trip go on.
They had a job to do.
"Happy 4th of July!" The banner across the covering at the gas station screamed at them as they drove away.
Next Episode
This story takes place in a universe almost identical to ours; it may even be ours but for a ripple in time, a lack of occurrences of events.
The galaxy is known to its inhabitants by many names, including, as translated into common English, The Long Cloud, The Shredded Tissue, The Bureaucratic Solution, The Female Bovine Excretion, and, to the major societies outside of it, by an astoundingly usual coincidence of language, Canada L33T. But, to the beings we’re concerned with, it is The Milky Way.
The particular Solar System we’re concerned with is not important, and thus unnamed, to any extra-galactic civilizations, and ignored even by most civilizations within Galaxy Canada L33T. Its inhabitants don’t really have a name for it beyond "Our Solar System", but it is worth noting that the term "Solar System" comes from what they have named their sun-Sol. So, it could be said that they consider their Solar System the Sol System. Despite recent evidence that they have that it is not the Sole System.
But, as has been noticed by a good number of the inhabitants, they live on the third lump of rock out from their sun Sol. They call their lump of rock, or, planet, Earth.
The inhabitants of Earth, the Humans, have divided their Planet into seven continents. Two of these have an arbitrary line between them, one is an island, another two have very similar names and are connected by a relatively thin strip of land, another is uninhabited except by Penguins, Scientists, and The Cold Ones, and the last is ravaged by war, famine and disease and is called, in an obscene, cosmic, and unintentional joke, Africa. We, however, are concerned with one of the two connected by the thin strip of land, the northern one, called North America.
Each of those continents-except for the island one-is divided into further arbitrary sections known as Countries or Nations. There are three major Countries in North America, plus a plethora of ones further south that many mistake for a part of South America, just because they lie on the thin strip of land that connects the two. The country that we’re concerned with is the middle one of the three major ones, causing the appearance on many maps of the world that North America is a very fat Lettuce Sandwich with Pink Bread. It is called The United States.
This Nation of The United States is divided further into fifty States, which are united together, hence the name. Two of those States are far distant from the mainland of the nation, one of which is very large and causes the appearance on those same maps that someone attempted to put Guacamole on top of the Lettuce Sandwich, but missed. One of these States, a bit west of the center of the nation, is called Colorado, and is where our story begins.
Each state is divided into Counties, but those get very confusing and are completely unrelated to the alternate divisions of States, cities. Most other countries are divided merely into cities, though many of them are divided into such things as Provinces, which are similar to states but more like very large Counties. The beings of this planet, the Humans, are very, very odd people. Besides these divisions, most of the time, they bury their dead, rather than disposing of them wisely. But, the city where this story begins is Denver. Or, rather, it begins in the Denver-Metro Area.
Where it was a very, very hot day.
Three lads of sixteen or seventeen, none of them particularly strapping but none of them particularly unattractive either, were in a car, driving down a highway. They were very cold, unlike their surroundings, because the driver blasted the Air Conditioning, even in dead winter. This time, however, it was a very, very good thing that he was.
The one in the back seat of the car knew exactly how to get to their destination, but the driver insisted on using a map that took them in entirely the wrong direction. The fellow in the passenger seat didn’t have much to say on the matter, as he was trying to figure out where I-25 was.
"Look, I’m telling you, Coors Field is North-West of us, not South-East!" The boy in the back seat, who was known to his people as Todd, cried out for the dozenth time.
"I know that!" The driver, Waldo, replied over his shoulder and the din of modern lesser rock, by people with names like Tob Rhomas and Miss Crartin.
"We’re going South-East!"
"Hey, I know that!"
"Then why are we still going South-East?"
"Because this is the way to Coors Field!"
"Look, I’m telling you, Coors Field is North-West…" The conversation looped back to its beginning again.
Elli, who was the lad in the passenger’s side seat, was busy contemplating the dashboard off to his left and in front of him, in particular the gauge that had a little needle hovering in a red area, pointing very nearly at a very obvious E.
"… the way to Coors Field!" The loop completed itself.
"Look, I’m…"
"Hey, I think we need gas," Elli said, shattering the loop.
"What? Oh, yeah. My mom gave me twenty dollars this morning for gas."
"Well, then, let’s figure it out at the station." Todd suggested.
The driver maneuvered the car off of the highway and, after taking a lap around the pumps for some indiscernible reason, stopped in front of one of them.
The three of them piled out of the car and into the convenience store and advanced directly to the drinks fridges. Todd grabbed a semi-healthy drink emblazoned with a lizard logo, Waldo chose a soda that was neither health giving or containing pepper, and Elli decided upon some sort of tea drink, named after a state just South-West of them. They went to the counter.
"Just these?" The half-surly cashier, whose name tag read Sunny, indicated the drinks.
"And Ten Dollars of gas on pump 3, too," Waldo said. Sunny rang up the three drinks and added a ten dollar charge. Waldo handed him a twenty and got 4.50 back. They took their drinks and returned to their means of conveyance. Elli and Todd returned to their seats, while Waldo pumped gas into the car.
"So how’s your summer been?" was the topic of the inane conversation Elli and Todd shared while they waited. As it turned out, Elli had done very little that summer so far; He had seen their mutual friend Gan several times, but that wasn’t unusual because they lived quite near each other. Todd had done much, but none of it was interesting or worth recounting. Most of it was playing video games with Dawn and Zach, or making failed plans with Sylvie. But he only mentioned the video games; making plans with Sylvie tended to rile up jealousy in Waldo and a number of other male-types, so it was safest to avoid the subject in the vicinity of any of them. Todd insisted to himself that it was safe to bring her up when he was around, but really, it wasn't.
Waldo returned to the drivers seat, having pumped ten dollars worth of gas into the car. They drove off on the highway going North-West. Todd ignored this and let the trip go on.
They had a job to do.
"Happy 4th of July!" The banner across the covering at the gas station screamed at them as they drove away.
Next Episode
posted by Pope Richard Corey at 3:42 PM
6 Comments:
Fun story. I esp. like the way you play on words and find new ways of looking at things. dig the "sole system" bit.
Can't wait for the next episode. (^_^)
Loving your writing. Not loving the mixed up characters, but loving your style. Very witty.
nice tom or is it Elli? very good. and u said mine was nice psh! i don't know what the other people are talking about i followed ur story quite well.
Jeebus, Tom, you've gotta tell me who's perspective exactly you're telling the story from. Gods, that's freakin' awesome.
Your writing is kinda lame so far...your trying too hard and it shows.Lets see how you handle the zombies in the upcoming chapters.
Dont get butthurt,I just call things the way that I see them...I'm sure there are a lot of suckers out there that probably like your pretentious "style" of writing.Im more of a meat and potatoes man myself.
Smear
www.myspace.com/smearone
happy late second anniversary!
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