Episode 3: The Job, The Day, The Works

The lads-that is, Elli, Waldo, and Todd-arrived at Coors Field at about three o’clock. They were about on time, but parking was a severe trouble. They parked in lot C-1, which was the whole distance of lots A and B from the field. Each lot was numbered about to 8, and each number was the length of four cars and the width of another four. So, they were pretty far from their final destination. Fortunately, there was a bus for employees to take them there.

The bus was crowded with people who were hot, sweaty, and stinky. Waldo, being severely neurotic, would from time to time speak unbearably sardonically: "I love being so close to my best friends!"

"Yes, the body heat from everyone feels so wonderful!" Todd would cry out in response, unsure whether he was mocking Waldo or agreeing with him. The dialogue prompted glares from throughout the bus.

"Heh, that’s true," Elli would reply, somehow nearly supernaturally lightening the mood. The glares melted and turned back to the front of the bus. Waldo would continue twitching nervously and Todd would give Elli a weird look. Elli just smiled and shrugged.

This happened at least five times on the bus trip to the stadium, and helped pass the time well, even if it did match the heat in annoyingness.

When they finally arrived at the stadium, they had to wait in line in the beating sun for about twenty minutes to get their vests, hats, and picture-less, nameless ID Badges, that were to be worn with a lanyard plastered with images of the American Flag in honor of the holiday. They also were given tiny plastic flags on toothpicks to put into their clothes, and offered shiny red, blue, and silver somethings to drape through their hair. They refused the shiny things, and pocketed the flags, not wearing them not only because of their supreme cheesiness, but also because there was nowhere that they could really fit. They wore the lanyards as they had to, despite the powerful lack of any sense of style evident in them even to the unfashionable Waldo and Todd

After signing tickets for a special holiday raffle, they proceeded upstairs, to the offices. There, they waited in the blistering sun for another ten minutes while the other employees and administrators arrived, much, much later than them. The boss arrived last of all, made them wait another five minutes while he set up his office for the orientation process, and finally they entered.

The room was even more blisteringly hot than the blisteringly hot sunny day outside, because everyone there was hot and thus producing a large amount of body heat. The heat got trapped in the room, bouncing off the off-white walls, creating a greenhouse effect. Add to this the fact that there were about thirty people crammed into a space designed for, oh, say, about seven, and then crammed so full of office supplies that, comfortably, only 4 could fit. The speech lasted about ten more minutes, and was comprised of instructions on who they could give free food to, why they couldn’t have tiny freeze dried ice cream bits, and the fact that every thing they did, be it go to the bathroom or fill a cup of slushy a millimeter too full cost the man giving the speech money.

"Freakin' capitalist…" Todd muttered under his breath.

Waldo decided to respond to this with another "I love being so close to my friends!"

Elli responded by sniggering and returning his attention to the capitalist.

Then he went on about the raffle. The prizes were mostly gift certificates for restaurants and Barber shops. But one was for the restaurant where one Sylvie worked. Waldo began to swoon upon hearing it’s name spoken.

"Guess who’s going to win that?" Waldo grinned at Todd.

"Who wants to win it, rather."

"Well, yeah, but…"

When it was finally over, they returned outside to the blistering sun, which had managed to become even hotter, but was still a welcome reprieve from the heat inside the room.

Elli, Waldo, and Todd had been split up; Elli and Waldo were working completely different stands on the third floor, and Todd was on the base. Upon arriving separately at their stations, all three were relieved to find that they were in the shade. This feeling overwhelmed them simultaneously, and instantly made the whole place feel at least five degrees cooler to them.

A young Hispanic man named Mario arrived a few moments later at Todd’s stand. Just like Todd, it was only Mario’s second time serving concessions at a game, and neither of them had ever set up before.

"You know how to set up?" Mario asked through a very light Mexican accent.

"No. Do you?" Todd returned.

"No."

"Think we can fake it?"

"Sure," Mario suggested warily, tittering a little.

So they faked it. And they faked it well. They figured out that the scoops were for the squishies, and that the cups came in large and regular.

"Oughta be small and smaller," Todd suggested, turning the two sizes around in his hands.

They then discovered the money case, and all the money in it. They set that where they could easily access it. And, looking around, the decided that that was all they needed.

Then five minutes later, they checked the price of squishies. That was a good thing to know, certainly.

For the first hour or so, they didn’t get any sales.

That’s when they realized that the same prices that they had checked weren’t posted. They couldn’t find a sign anywhere, so Todd scribbled them out on a paper towel, with the freshly thought of slogan "Fresh Squishies, Get ‘em While They’re Cold!" Todd knew it wasn’t that original, but it entertained Mario.

Still, for half an hour, they got no sales. So they put samples out, and stuck their American Flags in them.

Still, no sales. So, after fifteen minutes, they began crying out.

"Squishies for sale!"

"Get them while they’re cold!"

"Get them before they melt!"

"Large and Small!"

"Lemon and Strawberry!"

"Albatross!"

"Get your Squishies!"

"Buy from us or they’ll beat us!"

Todd was surprised the first time Mario tried to say Squishy, as he instead said it Squeegee. He didn't say anything about it.

This display of enthusiasm for sales eventually attracted a few customers. The Squishies sold well and tasted good, but not as well as the lemonade that both of them had sold, seperately and previously, so they began to despair.

It took them another fifteen minutes to find the gloves, which they were sure must be required at all times by the FDA, or something.

From there it was smooth sailing. Low sales, but they had fun. And they managed to make about five bucks each in tips.

The game ended around ten, and that was when they moved back towards the terrible room for checkout.

* * *

Waldo ended up working a stand that sold cups of tiny spheres of freeze-dried ice cream, which he could not partake in because it would cost the capitalist boss money. He worked with a largish man, who was really very largish. He was also quite rude. He couldn’t remember Waldo’s name (He called him Wally and Mendel and such things) and he never told Waldo his. By the time Waldo arrived, the man had already set up the stand and assigned everything proper positions. The man would not let Waldo handle the money, and Waldo became a bit concerned that the man was taking some of the money and would blame it on him. Waldo began to panic, but didn’t let it show because he knew there was nothing he could do. So, he continued serving spheres of freeze dried ice cream, as the cruel man made him. They worked in silence.

The game ended at about ten o’clock, and they cleaned up and took the money down. Rather, Waldo cleaned up and the man took the money down.

* * *

Elli, unlike the other two, had an absolutely wonderful time at it, with little drawback. He worked a squishy stand alone, got little business but enough that he knew the stand would be justified in being opened, and worked very near some very cute girls. He had known instantly how to set up, and, having a price sign already up, didn’t have to shout things out at all. He repeatedly had to pass by the cute girls to get napkins, and each time they assaulted him with flirtations.

"What are you coming this way for?" one would eagerly ask.

"To get some napkins…" He would answer nervously at first, thinking they were being bitter.

"Oh…" The girls would say in unison, disappointedly. Elli didn't notice, but one of them seemed very slow to do what the other two did.

Later, it became this:

"What do you need now?" a girl would eagerly ask.

"I need some napkins, ladies," he would return suavely.

"Oh," they would sound disappointed still, and then one would perk up. "Can I help you?"

"No, I can handle it myself," he said with a macho tone.

He had a very, very good time. He learned their names to be Jill, Jennifer, and Judy. Jennifer was the one who he hadn't noticed hadn't seemed to be as eager to flirt.

At about ten o’clock, the game ended. He had already cleaned up, as no one had bought a squishy for at least an hour. He took his money box over to the girls for safety while he helped them clean up. He walked with them, carrying the correct money box, down to checkout.

* * *

The three lads met back up at checkout. Waldo, who had to just stand there while the largish man counted the money, spoke a bit to Todd about his troubles. Todd introduced him lightly to Mario, but didn’t pay too much attention to what Waldo was saying due to his own troubles; he and Mario had come up about a hundred dollars short. Waldo’s team finished counting and Waldo went to the raffle wall. He came away fuming.

The largish man-whose name he had finally figured to be Caleb-had won his prize. The gift certificate for fifty dollars at that restaurant. Waldo went outside into the night air, which was so much cooler than any temperature it had been anywhere that he had been all day. This cheered him immensely, though he still insisted on looking brooding.

After many further calculations, Todd found that they were only sixty dollars short. Mario went and got the supervisor.

Elli had been done with his counting long before even Caleb had; he spent a few minutes helping the cute girls he had met, and then proceeded down to the bank to register it. After hitting the bank, he went out to the field for the fireworks display.

Waldo continued waiting outside for Todd, but acknowledged Elli genially when he went down.

After much, much more recalculation and panic, plus help from a supervisor, Mario and Todd turned out at a hundred and forty dollars short. Some more recalculating showed that they were only eighty cents short. Todd finally calmed down, and Mario chuckled. He offered to take the money box down.

Todd accepted graciously.

"Hey, maybe we’ll work together again someday," Mario suggested, trying to make Todd completely calm.

"Or maybe we’ll see each other at the fireworks?"

"Sure."

(That, dear readers, is a conversation of significance. It suggests that they both think they’ll see each other again. It's called foreshadowing, or, more correctly, bad foreshadowing.)

The cute girls sat near Elli on the field, all four of them having finished with the money early, and continued their flirtations with him.

Todd left the office and found Waldo.

"Where’s Elli?" he asked.

"I don’t know, I think he went onto the field," Waldo suggested.

"Let’s go, then," Todd yawned. They made motion towards the field.

"You won’t believe it… Did you see that guy I worked with?"

"Yeah, kinda."

"He won my prize!"

"The gift certificate?"

"Yeah! And he had an unfair advantage, too!"

"What?"

"He had two sisters and his mom working stands! He was bound to win the prize!"

Todd stared at him for a moment. "Right…"

They reached the field. It was nearing 11 o’clock, and they couldn’t find Elli. The lights shut off, suggesting that the fireworks were about to start.

Seconds later, the most beautiful light, green and red and white, erupted in the sky. It seemed to be flashing from all directions. At that same moment, a high pitched wailing that Todd hadn’t even noticed, ceased. Todd assumed it was his imagination-as did everyone else on the field. There was applause, and then the fireworks began. Waldo noticed that the music that usually played at the Fourth of July game was not playing. He shrugged it off as nothing more than a change in the usual program.

The fireworks lasted about half an hour. During that time there were some panicked screams on the other side of the wall, where the fireworks were being set off, but no one could properly hear them, and so, once more, decided they were just a part of their imaginations. There were also a number of sirens.

The fireworks stopped, and people stood up to move towards the exits…

And all hell broke loose.




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